Thursday, November 30, 2006

A Huge Step Forwards!

General Motors announced yesterday that they were going to research a rechargeable plug-in hybrid vehicle, in order to distance itself from it's image as a maker of gas-guzzling SUV's. Plug-in hybrids have the ability to sharply increase fuel efficiency by using advanced batteries.

This would, indeed, be a huge step forwards if they hadn't actually made the fucking car ten years ago, then destroyed them all.

See, this is why I'm not a CEO of a corporation. Pledging to do something half-assed ten years after you did a great job of it seems to me to be a slightly inefficient way to go about running one of the biggest companies in the world, but it must be working, otherwise they wouldn't have done it, right?


Monday, November 27, 2006

Well, There You Have It.

The page counter people say 35 people came to my page.

My own method shows...... two.

All righty then.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Testing My View Counter, So COMMENT!


Just go down, and comment, even if it's anonymously. I call bullshit that I've gotten about 30 views per day, since I can go months without getting comments except for one or two people I know in real life, so I'd like EVERYONE WHO READS THIS TO COMMENT!!!

Thank you!

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Unhandicapped People Suck

Used without permission from the PVP thread-page, in regards to how the podcast discriminates against people who are deaf:

Yet on the main issue, there are deaf people reading this webcomic (and I am one of them) and the constant issues of hearing people never attempting to see it eye to eye with the Deaf community is not overly surprising. In fact it’s kind of sad that hearing people try to justify the lack of attempts to involve the deaf people (since any race or ethics can still hear and understand the english language, even if it’s thier second language) by creating a fair use of community interactions by providing informations not based on sounds. Well, take care ya’all. I’m off to stuffing my face with homemade food.

So… YOU’RE not handicapped… WE'RE just jerks.

Do paraplegics get mad at linedancing classes? Do diabetics get mad at the Hersheys company? Do people with cancer get mad at hairdressers? Do black people get mad that they never seen to get to be Santa in TV movies?


Do you send letters to instrumentalist musicians for not posting their sheet music online so you can enjoy it? Do you toss off angry e-mails to the television networks for not better describing the background sounds in the closed captioning? Do you beat up birds for their desire to prevent you from hearing their twittering?


But deaf people can deride the entire concept of podcasting, because it excludes them? If you can’t hear, then by very definition that excludes you from doing things hearing-related. Yes, nearly EVERYTHING IN THE UNIVERSE is accessible to you, including CNN subtitles, DVD subtitles, and whatnot… but sometimes, just sometimes, things happen that you might not get to be a part of.

While you’re stuffing your face on this Thanksgiving while billions go without food, I'd like you to think about just how rude and inconsiderate we hearing people are to you hard-of-hearing folk.

To Order A Transcript Of This Conversation...

... just have a laptop handy when your son is being gregarious in the extreme. I was typing as fast as I could and I may have missed a few things... but enjoy.

Seb: I made up a play today, with puppets.

Dad: Really? What play?

Seb: The Adventures of Apple.

Dad: Cool! Apples have adventures?

Seb: Yeah, when I threw my apple down the street and it rolled and rolled and rolled. The play is "I Threw Stuff: The Apple Adventures." (That is verbatim, I added the quotes...)

Dad: Wow.

Seb: Yeah, I'm the boy who threw the apple, and the apple, and mommy is the apple puppet.

Dad: That's a cool play.

Seb: Yeah. Why are green apples green apples?

Dad: Uhm... because they're green?

Seb: Yeah! Which are yucky pples?

Dad: Uhm... Spartans. But they're good in pie.

Seb: What are the bestest apples? The bestest green ones.

Dad: Granny Smith.

Seb: HAHAHAH! Why are they grandma apples?

Dad: Because she invented hem.

Seb: You have to say Super Coyote Fight-Ups go!

Dad: .... what?

Seb: I'm doing fight-ups. The super zombie dragon.... skeleton.... monster.... soldier.... coyote fightups. (He playes a lot of Heroes III)

Dad: Ok. Fight-ups go.

Seb: NO! You have to say No FIGHTING, then ALMOST FIGHTING, then FIGHTUPS GO.

Dad: Ooohhh, ok. No fighting.... almost fighting.... fight-ups go.

Seb: (thrashes like hes running)

Dad: Why are you running? I thought it was a fight.

Seb: It's a RACING fight! I have to run fast and conk them!

Dad: Conk them?

Seb: Conk! With my bundle of thunder arrows and fire swords!

Dad: You have thunder arrows?

Seb: Yeah, with THUNDER BOLTS! What are you typing?

Dad: What you're saying, about the thunder arrows and stuff.

Seb: And the song?

Dad: What song?

Seb: The song I liked when I was tiny like Poppy.

Dad: Which song is that?

Seb: The song where you go "Run run run", and "Budge budge budge", and then there's guitar, and the rest of the guitar, and then big finish!

Dad: I dont know that song.

Seb: Yes you do.

Dad: So, how was your day?

Seb: Great. Is tomorrow Thursday?

Dad: Yup.

Seb: SWIMMING!!!! Does Mommy put Poppy underwater?

Dad: Yup.

Seb: I have a problem. A telling problem. Why didn't you do my eyedrops?

Dad: Mommy did them for you this morning.

Seb: You have to do them. You promised. Not Mommy. OW! My ear! I keep flicking my ear! OW! OW! OW! OW!

Dad: Stop flicking your ear.

Seb: No!

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Violent Games Make Me SO DAMN MAD!!!!!!!!

FTFA, since it doesn't like being linked to:

School shoot-out spurs debate to ban violent PC games
By: John Blau
IDG News Service (Düsseldorf Bureau) (22 Nov 2006)

A long-simmering debate in Germany about banning violent computer games is burning again after an aloof teenager on Monday stormed his former high school, shot five people and later killed himself.

The disgruntled 18-year ex-pupil from Emsdetten, Germany, near the Dutch border, was described by students and teachers as a youth with no friends who liked guns and played violent computer shooting games.

The incident brought back memories of a shooting rampage in the eastern German city of Erfurt in 2002 when an alienated former pupil -- and computer games player -- shot 16 people, mostly teachers, and later himself.

Is this still being debated? Violent video games causing kids to go on violent, angry rampages? Let's look at the facts:

1.) The kid got a gun from his father.
2.) The kid went to his school with the gun.
3.) The kid shot up popular kids, and teachers.

Will someone tell me where violent games come into play here?

But fine. Let's extend the definitions of causation:

Large Spoons Cause Obesity
Pencils Cause Spelling Errors
Cars Cause Drunk Drivers

Violent video games are played by 35 million kids in the USA, of whom about 100 bring a gun to school. Bullies prey on 10 million kids in the USA, of whom about 100 bring a gun to school. Despite the 350% greater statistical impact of kids being bullied versus video games, it's hard to ban bullying.... whereas banning video games is so EASY, and gives everyone a plausible scapegoat! When video games are banned, everyone involved can pat themselves on the back because they proved they cared. Then, when school shootings continue to happen, they can look the other way because they've already done everything they could.

Sleep well, heroes. You've done the best you could.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Woooo, Superbowl Sunday!

Well, CANADIAN Superbowl.... The Grey Cup.

Right now, I should be at the farm, kicking it in patio furniture set up in the living room, with the big-screen TV blaring, drinking vodka, eating home-made hotwings, and enjoying this boring, boring sporting event with my inlaws.

But noooooo, I have to be at the office, developing the siting concept for an urban development in the valley, and trying to get a decent song on Pandora.

Ah well... I'll be there for the end of the game, I hope....

Friday, November 17, 2006

Propaganda YAY!

Iran forces you to pray, covers up women, kills dissidents, is making nukes, hates America, despises Democracy... and is conducting cutting-edge stem-cell research!

That's right, folks... in an attempt to garner yet MORE support from the people who ALREADY support smiting Iran, the AP and CNN, under the guidance from some key world governments *cough*USA*cough* are now spreading "news articles" about how Iran, the unholy nation that wants to see America burn in a pollar of nuclear fire, "is also harvesting babies for stem cells for scientific research, possibly for biological warfare".

Go back to bed, America. Your government is in control. Go back to bed. Here, here's American Gladiators. Watch this. Shut up. Go back to bed, here's American Gladiators. Here's 57 channels of it. Watch these pituitary retards bang their fuckin' skulls together to congratulate you for living in the land of freedom. Here you go, America! You are free to do as we tell you! You are free to do as we tell you!

Ok, ok, that one article actually has a pretty positive slant to it, as well as a BBC article, but I dare you tu turn on CNN or HN or MSNBC tonight, and see what THEY have to say.

Middle Eastern Supertechnology

Tech level twelve, I believe!

This is pretty cool, discovering that carbon nanotubes, the "technology of the future", has been used in weapons of warfare for nearly two thousand years. For those who don't know, Damascus Steel is renowned throughout the world for being super-top-quality blades, rivalling the Japanese swordsmiths of the age, as well as having the cool dark and white banded stripes all over the metal that has never been duplicated. True Damascus manufacturing was lost in the 1800's, so a dozen ways have been made to make SIMILAR blades, but never the real thing. But this latest clue, the carbon-nanotube-filled-blades may have uncovered the final key.


Or, you know, excellent metallurgists. Whatever.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Movie Review: Borat

First off, I'd like to talk about my experience at the theater.

The lineup for tickets extented through the lobby, through the vestibule, onto the concrete landing outside the theater, and down the stairs. I myself got into line on the SIDEWALK below the stairs below the landing outside the theater, and we waited 35 minutes to get tickets to the LATE show, since the early was filled. We got to the theater an hour before the late show, and ended up, like, 30th in line for seats, being an HOUR early. And despite the soundproofing, we also could hear the thunderous laughter from inside the theater.

THEN the movie started.

Some parts were a bit confusing for me, as I've only ever seen one episode of Da Ali G Show, and only one four-minute Borat segment, and I didn't know the whole anti-Semetic backstory (which is hilarious, since SBC is a devout Jew). Some parts seemed to drag, since they had to set up the movie, but some parts... oh my god...

I thought I was going to barf from laughing at one point. No movie has done that since I saw MST3K:TM for the first time, six years ago. The bizarre and unbelievable naked argument-fight in the hotel room, which spilled out into the hallway, the elevator, and finally into a meeting for accountants in the hotel ballroom (where SBC had stationed two cameraguys HOURS before) resulted in ten minutes of uninterupted laughter, screaming, and peeing from the entire audience (one girl did pee, we could hear her freaking out).

The movie is insane, and while the whole point of the movie is to catch Americans with their guards down, the hilarity continues into the real world, where half of the people filmed on the show, as well as THE ENTIRE COUNTRY OF KAZAHKSTAN, are launching lawsuits against the movie. True, while some of the frat boys are NEVER getting laid again after their "women and slavery" discussion, KAzahkstan should find itself lucky to be made this well known, particularly since at no point in the movie are they IN Kazahkstan, or SPEAKING Kazahk, and only one person FROM Kazahkstan was in the movie. Get over it, world. It's a comedy. Laugh.


So Who Thinks Humanity Sucks?

I mean, let's just check out some of the news articles this morning:

A psychopathic killer kills again due to substandard care.

People actually have to ARGUE whether or not rape is "bad".

US Marine gets 18 months for murdering an unarmed foreign national.

Man gets 25 years in prison for taking prescription painkillers after a car accident. (Old article, but it highlights the above article)

US Marine pleads guilting to raping 14 year old girl, and killing her family. Best and brightest, indeed.

Now lets look at the POSITIVE articles for today...


I got nothing.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Pure Liquid Awesome

Thanks to Perchta for accidentally helping me to come up with my new MSN name, "Pure Liquid Awesome". This has also been incorporated into two of my stories, as well as being in the running for what I'll call my first album. And since she needs more Upbeat Music, I present to you.... Upbeat Music For Your Eyes!

Death From Above 1979 - Pull Out (Push In)

Butthole Surfers - Pepper

Spacehog - In The Meantime

PUSA - Mach 5

Paul Gross - 32 Down On The Robert MacKenzie

Alter Bridge - One Day Remains (Live!)

Foo Fighters - Everlong

Incubus - Privilege (Live)

Henry Rollins vs Nardwuar

Stick THAT in your brain and smoke it!

Friday, November 10, 2006

Important News!

Since no-one reads my reviews, I have decided to simply cut the charade and merge the reviews. That way, people can continue to not get all their unimportant information in the same place! Thusly, I will now link to all my reviews, for easy sorting.

Movie Reviews: Fearless & The Protector

Television Review: The New Shows

Music Review: Top Five Review - "Rock"

Music Review: Top Five Review - "Metal"

Music Review: Wierd Cover Songs

Holiday Review: Valentines Day

Television Review: Childrens Programming Part II

Literary Review: The Selected Works Of Dean Koontz

Cuisine Review: Beef Stroganoff

Biology Review: The Common Fucking Cold

Game (P)Review: Colonization II (2007)

Holiday Review: Christmas

Movie Review: Nothing

Movie Review: Team America, World Police

Movie Review: Charlie And The Chocolate Factory

Movie Review: The Cave

Music Review: Clutch - Robot Hive / Exodus

Movie Review: Four Brothers

Movie Review: The Island

Movie Review: Batman Begins

Movie Review: Sin City

Movie Review: Ong-Bak, The Thai Warrior

Movie Review: Ocean's Twelve

Game (P)review: Master of Orion III

Movie Review: Blade Trinity

Television Review: The Daily Show

Political Review: Jury-Draw Governmental Elections

Television Review: Childrens Programming

Game Review: The Works of Sid Meier

Movie Review: Suspect Zero

Social Review: Politics

Music Review: Monster Magnet, Last 3 Albums

Society Review: Money

Science Review: Air

Nature Review: Chickens

Music Review: Clutch - Blast Tyrant

Also, thanks to Mothshade for actually READING BACK, for some reason, and commenting! It gives me a warm, fuzzy, stalkerish feeling!

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

White People Suck

So last night, I got to endure something I put my mom through about twenty-two years ago, when I was the same age as my son is now. Here is now my best reconstruction of the Adorable Quote Of The Day, as it occurred last night at Taka Sushi:

Me: Uhm, not sure which nigiri I want.
Waitress: Well, what have you tried?
Son: Dad, can I ask a question?
Me: (thinking that it's about more rice) Sure.
Son: Why does she talk so different?
Me: (staring at menu) Uhm..... uhm... that's a hard question...
Waitress: (smiling) Because I am from China.
Wife: You see, like our friend G is from Poland, and he has an accent, this lady is from China, and she has an accent.
Me: Uhm, I've had Tai Nigiri a few times...
Waitress: (with a big smile) It's ok, he's just curious.
Me: (trying to crawl into the menu) Tobiki, maybe...
Son: (now covering his mouth and making loud growling noises, for some unknown reason)

This is comparable to me talking to my mom while walking through Marpole about 20 years ago, and me asking VERY loudly on a fairly crowded street where we were the only white people...

Me At Age Four: What do you mean, nationality?

You got me, Mom. It took you twenty years, but you got me.

Jon Stewart Sings The Presidents Eclectic!

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

It's That Time Again!

It's that time again: The Wheel of Morality! Also known as American Mid-term Elections! Wheel of Morality, turn turn turn... tell us the lesson that we should learn...

Now, like most North Americans, I don't understand the US governmental system, so I did a little bit of research, and here's what I came up with:


Nothing in the extensive libraries of Wiki, or, could tell me exactly what went on during the mid-term election, which is apparently where we keep the President, and change his lackeys. It gives people a general idea of how people are feeling about Bush, but it does not give people the ability to choose who will lead their country, so it's basically just a popularity poll, and a two-year rotation on the people who can take blame for America's actions.

The best coverage, so far, has been from the BBC:

So it all sounds fairly promising, then. The television advertisements I've been watching have almost all been negative. The overwhelming impression is that hundreds of criminals, rapscallions and ne'er do wells are currently on the loose on the streets of the United States all seeking election for the opposing political party. The Democrat campaign seems to boil down to one phrase: "We're not George Bush." And the Republican campaign is similarly taut: "We're not George Bush, either."

In non-snarky coverage, they have this to say:

Correspondents say that Democratic control of even one house of Congress would mean legislative gridlock. It would enable the Democrats to hold greater influence on Congressional committees, launch investigations into the war in Iraq, limit spending in Iraq and stall other Bush administration policies. Voters are also choosing governors in 36 states.

Ok, so new governors are being picked... there, that make's a little sense. Good to see that Great Britain doesn't mind me finding out how the most powerful government on the planet works.

Go, Americans, go! It's mid-term election time! Get out there and disgrace democracy one more time!

For those of you who still don't understand, here it is with simple animation, singing, dancing, and swearing: Jon Stewarts Midterm Election Educational Video! Squeeze your nutsacks with knowledge!

Monday, November 06, 2006

Tae Kwon D'oh!

So, after long and careful deliberation with my wife, and her Spousal Opinion Generator, I have decided to stop going to Tae Kwon Do. There are several reasons for this, which I will outline:

1.) I am not learning anything new.
2.) They are mostly mocking what I've learned before.
3.) We are very specifically being taught how NOT to defend one's self.
4.) I am sick of the snide comments from the more fit black belts when I can't do as many sprints as they do.
5.) The flying spinning kicks being encouraged makes me a little confused.
6.) I am now not productive on two more nights a week by going to this class.
7.) I am spending LESS time with my son.
8.) I can get more and better exercise by staying home and demolishing the heavy bag in my basement, then going for a walk with my son.

I do respect Mr Pepper, who is in charge of the class, but I would rather learn an effective martial art than a sport that I'll never actually compete in, even for fun.

Bye Bye, Birthday!

I'm 26 now. Go me. Go me.

Friday, November 03, 2006

Take That, Bismarck!

You paid attention during 91% of high school!

85-100% You must be an autodidact, because American high schools don't get scores that high! Good show, old chap!

Do you deserve your high school diploma?

Go, Jalapeno.... you rock now... go Jalapeno... kick some ass now... UNH!

You thrust your pelvis, UNH! You thrust your pelvis, UNH! You thrust your pelvis, UNH! You thrust your pelvis, UNH!


I'm sorry, I don't know where that came from....

Moral Outrage Time!

US Government Shuts Down Audit Of US Iraq Reconstruction

FTA: The Office of the Special Inspector General for Iraq Reconstruction has embarrassed the US administration with its reports on corrupt practices, but Washington lawmakers have reacted with shock at the discovery that an obscure clause in a military spending bill will terminate the work of the auditor.

That's right... the Military Spending bill includes a law to KEEP PEOPLE FROM AUDITING MILITARY SPENDING!

That may be the best thing I've read all week.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

And Now, Shakespeare's Greatest Soliloquy...

... in haxor, baby.

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Yeah, baby. Feel the Genius of the Bard.

Feeling a little better today than... earlier today, now that I've had time to ingest everything, mull it over, vent, have a Coke, and relax a little bit. I went for a walk with Junior tonight, since the excercise is good for his knees, and it's hardly bad for my fat ass, either. Along the way, among the many things we talked about, we had this discussion:

Son: "We should go home, it's too dark out."
Dad: "It doesn't matter if it's dark, I'm here with you."
Son: "Yeah, but Mommy will be worried."
Dad: "She's not worried, because you're with me."
Son: "Why is you're with me not make her worried?"
Dad: "Because I'm here to protect you."
Son: "But there's lots of scary things."
Dad: "Yeah, and she knows I'm scarier than all of them."
Son: "Are you scarier than all of the things out here that are scary?"
Dad: "Darn right."
Son: "What about cars sneaking up on us and running us over?"
Dad: "I'm way scarier than them."
Son: "Is that because you have boots, and you kick them?"
Dad: "You bet. I'm way scarier than cars."
Son: "What about monsters?"
Dad: "I hit them until they run away, too."
Son: "Good. Hitting monsters is good. Mom isn't worried now."

And one of my all-time favorite thread-pics...

Wonderful Link Du Jour - The Surprisingly Awesome Linking Park Matrix Burly-Fight Remix

"So he'll probably get better... or worse."

Thank you, Modern Medical Fucking Science.

So we take Daughter to the doctor to see about her cough. "It's bronchitis, she'll get better in the next few days... or she'll get worse. If she get's worse, come back." She's worse. Thanks.

But to trump that times a billion, we take Son to BC Childrens Hospital. The good news: we didn't need to cut his knee open because apparently the inflammation isn't TOO severe, and the medicine is doing it's job. The bad news? It's spread to his other knee, as well as his eyes. He has to stay on the Naproxen, as well as start topical steroidal eyedrops to try and fix his eyes, before it gets too bad and he goes blind. On the way out, we were assured that he'll probably get better... or worse. We have to go back in six weeks to see which it is.

Thank you so very, very much for explaining the two options to me. Without you there, I'd never have known that something like an idiopathic disease could have two possible outcomes, or that one of them could result in my son being blind and crippled. Thank you from the bottom of my bile-filled heart.

But Son, in typical fashion, went Trick or Treating for an hour, and I almost broke down when he gave me a great big hug when we got home for "being so nice tonight, and carrying him when his legs got tired, because his legs aren't as strong as my legs". It was just out of nowhere. He went to bed, and we talked about the new eyedrops he'll have to start taking tomorrow, and I think he's OK with it, as long as we're there to give him Kleenex and hugs in between drops.

So, even counting the one where I got cracked in the head with a frozen egg hurled from a passing car that caused me to black out in a Juniper bush, this was the worst Hallowe'en ever.

How are you all doing?

Amuzing linky-poo of the day:Robot Chicken Clips