Saturday, October 02, 2004

So We Moved In...

... again. Someday, this will end. I'll put down a piece of furniture and say "That doohickey will stay there, until the day I die. Sometime next year, probably. Why does my arm tingle?"

So, not a whole lot of new stuff here to talk about. I almost blew thirty bucks at Wally World when I saw they had the "Bruce Campbell vs The Army of Darkness - 2 Disc Boomstick Edition". I swear, I ovulated right when I saw it. 15 extra minutes of footage, interviews, storyboards, sketches, and commentary by the Deadites. SWEET! I'm also consistently surprised by the inbred dufusses that they let into that store. Observe the following quotes:

"Why do we need two bars of soap?"

"Oh, please don't let your son listen to 'Bad Religion', it's horrible bad music. I'm getting my son 'Green Day'."

"I have to take this hockey stick over to a different till to scan it in." (Technically by an employee, but still stupid)

"Can we get ten bags of chips?" "No, only eight, I told you."

Also, this years Ig Nobel awards are out! My favorites:

MEDICINE:
Steven Stack of Wayne State University, Detroit, Michigan, USA and James Gundlach of Auburn University, Auburn, Alabama, USA, for their published report "The Effect of Country Music on Suicide."

CHEMISTRY:
The Coca-Cola Company of Great Britain, for using advanced technology to convert liquid from the River Thames into Dasani, a transparent form of water, which for precautionary reasons has been made unavailable to consumers.

ECONOMICS
The Vatican, for outsourcing prayers to India.

And now my favorite, from our home-grown West Canadians:

BIOLOGY
Ben Wilson of the University of British Columbia, Lawrence Dill of Simon Fraser University [Canada], Robert Batty of the Scottish Association for Marine Science, Magnus Whalberg of the University of Aarhus [Denmark], and Hakan Westerberg of Sweden's National Board of Fisheries, for showing that herrings communicate by farting.

Well, I'm out of witty repartee. You bastard. See?

No comments: