#213 On The List Of Things I'm Now Allowed To Do At Work

#213: Look up "mst3k wikiquote" during office hours. I can't stop giggling. Example:

Servo [as Gregory]: Maybe I dialed wrong. Let me try again. Let's see… "zero".
Crow [as Answering Machine]: Hi. This is the human race. We're not in right now. Please speak clearly after the sound of the bomb.

I've never even seen a single episode of MST3K, and yet I can hear this so perfectly.... dammit, I'm giggling again.

Joel: Oh, terrific — we were saved by the gates of Hell.
Crow: Hey, what is it about the gates of Hell that compels people to wander into 'em?
Joel [as Adman]: It's because of Smuckers raspberry preserves.


Servo: Oh, the world's thrown into chaos — earthquakes, floods — but that's fine; you knit your sock.
Stepmother: Nope! Not a princess.
Servo: She's got that healthy clown glow.
Marfushka: Oh, no?
Stepmother: You are a queen!
Mike: In that you look like Freddy Mercury.

*snnnrrrrrrrrrkkkkkkkkkkk*

Smug Luddite Bastards...

Why do I even bother getting to work at 8am when the network never works until 9am? I mean, the e-mail is consistently down, the server is consistently down, and every now and then the server will hiccup, forget who has file priority, and save over the changes I've spent eight hours making. Hooray!!

One of the project managers says "Well, Chris, a poor carpenter blames his tools". By his logic, it stands to reason that I, as a poor draftsman, am blaming my tools for the bad job I did... therefore, because the network is down, it's my fault. I think a more apt platitude would be "Well, Dion, a poor carpenter doesn't have tools... a BAD carpenter blames the tools he has." He, as always, just makes some snarky 'you're just a kid and couldn't possibly understand what I REALLY meant' face, and goes back to work, confident in the fact that I have the IQ of a bathroom deodorizer.

What a world I live in! Ah well, I was given a 'sign' yesterday that I survived this round of employee attrition : I was given one of the new, EXPENSIVE electronic keys. Yayy!

Well, this Friday I go down for my grandma's memorial service, complete with explaining to Sebastian exactly what that means, and trying to keep him quiet through all of it. Also, being around my entire family and having to avoid explaining that, no, I can't cry, and to please shut the hell up about it.

Free Song Of The Day:
Killing Joke - Pandaemonium

Amusing Pic Of The Day:
No can do, the network won't let me.

Sebby Quote Of The Day:
"I wasn't asleep, I was just getting comfortable." (In regards to his nap from 6:15pm to 10pm)

Yar, She Be A Remorseless Eating Machine...

Poppy has had three six-ounce meals today, after a week of two-ounce meals. Just... stop... EATING! We need SLEEP! It's EVERYWHERE...

So, record high temperatures today. The thermometer at the farm that was sitting in the sun read 47 degrees, and the one in the shade by the back of the house read 38. The one in the shade by the front read 34, and I can believe it. Wooo! Thanks do our lovely dark-brown metal roof and sub-standard insulation, the cieling inside our living room is noticeably warmer than the shade-side walls. Wheee!

So all last night we have the screened windows and doors open to let in the cool 4am air. At 7am when the sun is just starting it's Easy-Bake routine on our neighborhood, I shut thr windows, shut the doors, shut the blinds, turn on the fans, and put the huge box-fan on the basement stairs to suck the INCREDIBLY cold air from our basement up to the upper floors. Seriously, there is a noticeable 10 degree temperture change when you go down those stairs. Anyway, all day today it was... bearable! It wasn't nauseatingly warm! SUCCESS!

Allrighty, enough of me whining about how much fat people hate high, humid temperatures... let's get to what you all came here for.

Free Song Of The Day:
13 Stitches - Land Of The Strange

Hi-Larious Pic Of The Day - A Three-Parter, And This Is ACTUALLY REAL:




Sebby's Quote Of The Day:
"Did we make my room messy with toys? Then Mommy has to clean it up, because she made the mess. I'll supervise."

And You Are Outta Here!

So one of the new fellers in the office, one of the guys with less seniority but more authority (Well, to be honest, he has like 30 years experience, but he's new to this office) was fired today. Worse, no-one seems to know why, and we're all afraid to as Greg, the boss and partner who did the firing, exactly why. Worst, though, Jason, the fire-ee, was the only one in the office who treated me like anything other than a teenager who didn't understand the world. Other than three people, I've been here loger than anyone else in the office, and while I don't have as much industry experience as many of them, I have picked up a modicum of information about what goes on around here.

On the plus side, our engineer was also fired. This is mostly due to, as far as I can tell, him billing our office for a great many hours, at $110 per hour, for work that I actually did, based off of a 3 minute sketch that the guy faxed over to us two days after I asked him a question. Our new engineer is the guy who took 5 weeks to get an answer from when he agreed to stamp the plans for the house I designed for my friends parents.

All in all, I'm glad I know people who work in other offices who need skilled technologists, since my office is sort of attrition-happy.

Free Song Of The Day: Kamloops Double-Hit!
Dave McLean - And It's Only Tuesday
Cozy Gelpod - Beautiful Thing Sweet Jesus, I love this song...


Picture Of The Day:


Sebby Adorable Quote Of The Day:
"I read all of Hop On Pop by myself, except where I read after you talked and pointed with your finger to the words I don't know, then I read them."

Newsflash: I'm Not Fucking Psychic

And yet, the people in my office seem to think that I can read their every fucking thought, and have their work done for them before they need it!

My boss's new mantra is "The work gets done in the time allotted." This can be paraphrased as "I'm cutting back everyone's pay, everyone's hours, and expecting all of the jobs to be done in the same amount of time. That way, I can buy my son another sports car while you, the employees, struggle to pay for simple appliance repair fees." Consequently, I worked on not just one project, not just two projects, not just three projects, but FOUR projects today. Four projects totalling well in excess of $200,000,000 , and I had to work on them all today, with four (FOUR) people in the office with less seniority but more authority coming around to my desk every few minutes to hassle me to work on THEIRS. Some drawings HAVENT ACTUALLY EVEN BEEN STARTED, and you want to know why? Back in March, I was ordered not to. That means that today, I get yelled at for doing exactly what they told me to do, because it inconveniences them not to have someone to fucking blame for their shortsightedness.

And yet, I still work there. Go figure.


Pic Of The Day: Double Whammy! (EDIT: Nevermind, Blogger is broken again, I can't use the pics I want :( )



Free Song Of The Day:
Clutch - Bazenhead (Live in Sweden!)

Sebby's Adorable Quote Of The Day:
"Was my cousin zero years old when he came out of Auntie Stephanie's tummy?"

Infamy: The Immortality Of The Unpopular

"Oh, aye! I'm infamous! I'm wanted in seven countries on nine continents!"

Not much anger today.... had a bunch this week. I dunno where it went... I'll probably find it when I clean my room this weekend, stuffed in behind the laundry basket, festering and growing more radioactive by the hour. No, wait, that's just my laundry...

COntacted today by an old friend from the VG Cats forum (You know, the one I was banned for life from?) So far, he's the first and only person from a place I've been banned to SEEK ME OUT. I feel so touched... this must be how all the dozens of people I've messaged over the years must feel: acceptance. It's a new feeling.

Note: Dentists suck. Even cute DA's who mean well. No, you will not find any loose change under my gums, so STOP PRYING AROUND IN THERE!!!

Free Song Of The Day:

Steve Burns - I Wanna Be Your Alpha Male

Pic of the Day:



Sebby Quote Of The Day:

"Poppy's smiling! Thats how she says she's happy, because she doesn't know words, so she smiles."

So... I Reproduced, Eh?

Bet no-one expected that!

Here she is, the day she was born.

Here she is, one day later.

And here she is, peaceful and well-fed.

Ain't she adorable?

She was born four weeks ago tomorrow... which means I've gotten 26 sleep-deprived nights (I totally slept in one day during the second week... Thanks, sweetie!) This means I've been a little bit lax on the old blog, and as soon as I can type without having to figure out which keyboard is the real one, and which are imaginary, I'll post more regularly again. Along with my "Free Song Of The Day" and "Pic Of The Day", I will now be including "QOTD: Sebastian". Here goes!

Picture of the Day:


Free Song Of The Day:
Five Horse Johnson - Ten Cent Dynamite.mp3

QOTD: Sebastian
"Why did I have to wake up? I was having a dream where I was grown up big, and you and mommy and me were at the big people pool, and Grandma was there, and she had a drink in a can, and I was big, in the big people pool, and then I woke up." Hee!